The “Public Self” and the “Private Self” are two identities that each person carries with them for just about their entire life. You develop it at a young age when you learn how to behave at home and that you need to act differently in front of others. The famous philosopher, Plato, was the first to suggest the existence of such selves. It came about when literacy was just beginning to catch on in society, more and more people learning to read each day. The time came when literate people could read aloud to non-literate people from a slate carved with symbols. Then these literate people began to do something unheard of, read silently. Reading was not usually just for the sake of oneself all alone, it was to be shared with others. But silent reading introduced humans to the self in their brain they never knew they had.
In modern times we divide these two selves based on when and where they are presented. Your public self is shown, of course, in public and tends to be more conservative, polite, and well-mannered. In contrast, your private self can be any range from almost the same as your public self to being a complete hooligan. Our private selves come out when we’re alone or with those we are very close to, walking around in your underwear is an activity your private self might indulge in and your public self abstains from. In the past there was a very clear divide between the two selves, but in today’s world the public self is starting to disappear.
People aren’t really caring as much to hold up proper appearances in public, some will just act like they’re still in their living room when they’re at the mall. If you pay close attention, you can find common groups of people that are losing, or rather discarding, their public selves. From my personal experience, I believe that men’s public self is deteriorating much faster than women’s. More specifically, young men/teenage boys. I don’t have hard scientific facts to back up my argument, it’s purely based on my observations and experiences.
Women are expected to dress nicely, but modestly, act sweet and polite, and always wear makeup. The Telegraph in the UK surveyed employers to see whether they would hire a woman not wearing makeup. A shocking 67% would have a “dim view of female staff” if they were not wearing makeup. At this point, wearing makeup is no longer a choice but a necessity for most women today. The self putting on and displaying this picture-perfect face is the public self. We’re always being forced into a submissive role by society controlling our success based on the appearance and personality of our public selves. To me, I feel like a dog on a chain.
Men have little to no expectations from society. Sure, they’ll be asked to dress nicely in proper work attire (probably just a button-up and slacks) and keep their hair groomed. There are few restrictions on men’s behavior in public, in fact men are expected to be loud and demanding. Just take a ride on the subway and you’ll see men taking up three seats by ‘man-spreading.’ And nothing is done about it. It’s like they’re being given permission to have neon lights over them reading “HERE I AM” because of how they always make their presence known. Now moving from grown men, let’s look to teenage boys.
Teenage girls are held to similar, if not stricter, regulations than adult women. Teenage boys on the other hand are given full reign. They don’t have to care even the slightest about their appearance. Ever seen a teenage boy dressed like a randomized Sim character? That’s what most seem to wear. They could be wearing a neon orange shirt, pea green cargo shorts, a snap-back looking like it’s been through a paper shredder, and mismatched shoes and nobody will question or think badly of them. If a girl were to dress in a similar fashion they’d have people shaking their heads and thinking “She really doesn’t care about her appearance, how lazy.”
The main point of my argument is that men’s public selves are deteriorating without much stopping them and women are still being held to the highest standards for how they appear to others. It’s a real issue in our society that I know probably won’t be addressed for a long time because of all the misogynistic men (most importantly, male politicians) believing that women need to work even harder to get paid even though we just barely make 80 cents to a man’s dollar. I want to feel a little more freedom, feel like my contribution to society isn’t dictated by what I put on my face, and I especially want to be respected and valued for my intelligence rather than my physical body.